Thanksgiving is next week, and yes, my Christmas decorations are going up right now. Why? Because I’m a rebel with a cause—my cause being: I do whatever makes me happy. And you can too. That’s our theme this week: doing what works for YOU as we approach a season that can feel like pure magic for some and a walk through hell for others. From passive-aggressive comments to the pressure to eat or not eat the right amount, and the inevitable guilt trip about where you’re spending your time, the holidays can be a lot. Let’s talk about reclaiming your peace, power, and plate—yes, literally your plate.
Porton-Size Drama: Because Everyone’s Got an Opinion
Ah, the plate-sized critique—it’s a holiday classic. Whether you’re going back for seconds or putting barely anything on your plate, someone always has something to say.
Whether someone’s saying, ‘Wow, that’s a big plate!’ or ‘Is that all you’re eating?’—it can feel uncomfortable, right?
If you load up with that extra scoop of stuffing, you hear: ‘Wow, someone’s hungry!’ or ‘I thought you were on a diet..” Or on the otherhand, you decide to take it light because you’re just not feeling it, or maybe… just maybe you cant stand the taste of some of the food or you know aunt nancy licks the spoon when she cooks and the thought of it grosses you out — I said what I said… and suddenly it’s: ‘Oh, are you even eating? Or Is that all your getting? You should try this… You know, you really should try everything!’
Can we normalize this? Your plate, your rules. Whether you’re indulging or keeping it chill, what’s on your plate is not an open invitation for commentary. Let them focus on their own portions, and here’s how to focus on your own peace.
Food is fuel, joy, and choice. Whether it’s a double serving of pie or a little nibble of the things you like, people usually project judgement about other’s food choices when they have their own insecurities. Maybe they would love the extra servings but cant bring themselves to do it, so they critisize you for doing so, or maybe they feel guilty about their heaping plate of pie so they critisize you for choosing no desert. Or finally they are just so damn proud of what they made it offends them when someone doesn’t touch it… This is a “them” problem, not a you problem. Let them judge while you savor every damn bite of whatever it is you want.”
You can effortlessly take the spotlight off your plate by flipping the script. Try answering the unsolicited comment with a subject-changing question like, “So, how’s work been?” Or own it completely—point to something on your plate and rave about how good it is. Redirect, refocus, and keep it moving!
And if all else fails, let them know your favorite health coach (yep, that’s me) isn’t about calorie counting or portion policing—it’s all about clean eating, nutrition-packed meals, and respecting that food is a personal journey. Oh, and remind them they can always reach out to me for coaching if they want to level up their own plate game!
The Attendance Olympics: The ‘No’ That Saves Your Sanity
“Why do the holidays always turn into a competition for where you’re going, how long you’re staying, and whether you RSVP’d to Aunt Susan’s second potluck? The pressure to show up everywhere can be suffocating.
Here’s a thought: Your presence is a gift—and one you can choose not to give this year.
If your energy is running low, say no. You’re not obligated to turn yourself into a holiday marathon runner just to keep everyone else happy except yourself. And guess what? You don’t need a dramatic excuse. A simple, ‘I can’t make it this year, but I hope you have a wonderful time,’ is more than enough.”
Mindset Shift: Prioritize the people, places, and moments that energize you. If that means skipping the big family gathering in favor of a cozy night with your dog and a Hallmark movie, so be it.
Sometimes skipping events can be one of the biggest acts of self care if it means protecting your energy. I always ask myself, am I going because I feel that I have to, or am I going because I want to.. And sometimes the answer isn’t in the favor of the people expecting me, and thats just fine. My life not theirs.
Dodge That Holiday Dodgeball
“Let’s talk about the family dynamics that make holidays feel like emotional dodgeball. You’re dodging backhanded compliments like: ‘Wow, you’ve really changed!’ (Gee, thanks.) Or you’re stepping around full-blown debates about your life choices, food, politics, or why you’re still single.
Here’s the thing: Boundaries are your holiday MVP. You don’t owe anyone an explanation, a defense, or your emotional bandwidth. When someone lobs a passive-aggressive grenade your way, you don’t have to catch it. You can say: ‘I’m not discussing that today.’ And then walk away to get more wine—or pie. Preferably both.”
Mindset Shift: Boundaries aren’t walls; they’re bridges to your sanity. Set them unapologetically and stick to them. And if you must use a comeback, here are some that pack humor and grace leaving you confident and in control.
- Comment: “Wow, you’re still single?”
Comeback: “Yep, I’m just waiting for someone as amazing as me. It’s a high bar.” - Comment: “I see you didn’t bring a dish to share.”
Comeback: “I decided my sparkling personality was enough this year.” - Comment: “You’ve really changed since last year.”
Comeback: “I’m pretty sure we’re supposed to.” - Comment: “We never see you anymore.”
Comeback: “Well, you’re seeing me now—let’s make it count!” - Comment: “Are you really wearing that?”
Comeback: “I know, right? I love this look. Highly recommend it.” - Comment: “Must be nice to have free time to do that.”
Comeback: “It really is amazing.” - Comment: “Why don’t you have kids yet?”
Comeback: “Because I love sleeping in and eating hot meals right now.” - Comment: “You look tired.”
Comeback: “Funny, I feel great! Maybe it’s just my resting holiday face.” - Comment: “You’re not going to the family reunion again?”
Comeback: “Nope! I’ll send my love —it travels better than I do.” - Comment: “I see you must not like the casserole?”
Comeback: “Speaking of what’s on my plate, I love the turkey this year, what seasonings did you use?”
These comebacks can help you keep your cool, stay in control of the conversation, and subtly let the other person know their comment wasn’t appreciated.
The Holiday Blues: It’s Okay to Not Be Okay
“Not everyone feels joy and cheer during the holidays—and that’s okay. Maybe it’s a tough time of year for personal reasons, or maybe the constant hustle just feels overwhelming. If you’re not in the spirit, give yourself permission to feel whatever comes up.
Here’s your reminder: You don’t owe the world festive. It’s okay to be quiet, reflective, or even a little grumpy. The holidays aren’t a one-size-fits-all experience, and anyone who says otherwise can take their tinsel-wrapped judgment elsewhere.”
Mindset Shift: Allow yourself grace. Whether you’re thriving in the sparkle or just trying to survive, you’re doing the best you can—and that’s enough.”
I am giving your permission to be real and skip the festive act if that is what you need. If anyone has a problem with that, tell them to catch me outside how bout that.
“The holidays don’t have to be perfect, Instagram-worthy, or even traditional. They just have to work for you. Whether that means eating whatever the hell you want, skipping the third holiday gathering, or setting boundaries like the boss you are, remember: Your peace is priceless, and your choices are valid. So go ahead, pour the extra eggnog—or don’t. But either way, own it.”